Circle around myself

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One of the things that has been life changing for me, is learning to stay in my circle. The idea is that I can draw an imaginary circle around myself and fix/control everything in that circle. That. Is. It. Everything else needs to be let go. If I can’t let it go, I need to give it God through prayer.

This doesn’t come naturally for me. I love control so I have to work hard at this. But I realized (in my 30’s) that choosing to worry about things I couldn’t control was not allowing me to live a life I wanted to live. It made me anxious and depressed and I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

Now, I’m not saying my anxiety and depression has been cured by thinking more positively, it’s been a much harder, longer road than that. But I did realize I have a choice in how I respond to situations that arise, people in my life and everything in between.

As I scroll through my social media, I’ve had to work really hard at this. Especially in this new climate of COVID-19. I see post after post about what “we” “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing. Moms bashing other moms for sharing ideas. I’ve seen posts angry rants that the government isn’t doing enough. I’ve seen rants about how the government is doing a fantastic job. I’ve see angry memes about people hoarding food and others saying people aren’t getting enough during their shopping trips (how dare someone only buy 3 bananas 🙄). I’ve seen friends inaccurately portray their lives for good or for bad.

I can’t control any of this. I can’t control how people are socially distancing or not. I can’t control what people post on Facebook. I can’t control what the President is doing or the government. All I can control, is me, my responses. So when I scroll, I have to choose how I respond and remind myself that I’m only in control of me, draw that circle back around myself, again and again.

I use this idea in nearly all aspects of my life. My friendships, my marriage, my family. My life is far from perfect. If you know anything about my story, you know some of the trials I’ve been through. With the help of supportive friends and family, and the grace of God, I’ve been able to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Using these trials as lessons. Allowing them to shape, mold and refine me. I’ve had friends and family treat me unfairly, be unkind, and deeply hurt me. I could respond by being bitter and angry. I could sit around waiting for an apology which may or may not ever come but that wouldn’t be staying in my circle. What I can do, is control myself, my attitude and my reactions. I get to choose to make changes in my life, respond with grace (or not, for that matter 😬 working on that) and learn about true forgiveness, which doesn’t start with an apology from anyone. I get to choose to be happy and content.

So if you’ve chatted with me recently, you might have noticed that I’m handling this world crisis well. Not panicking or spending countless hours worrying. What I have been doing is working hard, focusing on what I can control, my circle. Hope you do the same. With love 💗 me.

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